Jasper Learns to Forgive Himself
by Stargirl888
Summary: Jasper has been forgiven by his family but can he forgive himself? Warning - contains Spanking - Non-sexual between A&J, C&J and Es&R.
1. Jaspers Punishment

**Hi All. This is My First Fan Fic so any comments would be most welcome!!!**

**Please be aware that this story does contain spanking of a non-sexual nature, if that in any way offends you please do not read it - you have been forwarned. **

**The rating M just to be on the safe side - there is only mild allusions to adult themes, excluding the spankings. Not sure if people would be comfortable if I rated it T though.**

**Disclamer: The Charaters are Stephanie Meyers - not mine. I in no way support ritualistic spanking of except between consenting adults. **

***-*-* symbolises the start or end of one of Alices visions**

*********

APOV

I entered our room to find the love of my existence perched on the windowsill, utterly still. It had been three days since the incident and he had barely moved an inch. Had anyone else seen him they would not have thought anything amiss, but I knew better. Beneath his stoic expression he was experiencing the most acute pain and regret. I had let him wallow for over 72hrs but enough was enough.

"Jasper," I called, he did not move "Jasper." I said more firmly. He looked up forlornly "Jasper, that enough, I know how much you regret what happened but staying here like this is not going to help." I made my way over to him at human pace so as not to startle him. I had only seen Jasper like this twice before in the 200yrs we'd been together. I knew that if I let him he'd become stuck in a rut of self loathing that was almost impossible to break, but I also knew that if I was not careful he would shut down and it would take me weeks to coax him out of his mental cave. It was a precarious situation.

I placed my hand on his arm. "Jasper," I said softly "talk to me." he sighed, letting out a breath that had been held for far too long. His body unfroze and he relaxed into my embrace. I held him as he spoke. "I just don't know what to do," he began "I've apologised to Esme and I know she says she forgives me but how can I forgive myself? She was so understanding she didn't even reprimand me verbally." his anguish was strong enough it began to slip through his barriers and I could physically feel his pain.

I secretly believed this was partly what caused him to withdraw into himself – knowing that if he spoke about it he would not be able to stop his emotions from spilling into the room and causing me to experience them too.

"When I was with Maria, " he continued " I would have been ripped limb from limb for showing her half the disrespect I showed Esme, but here nothing." I understood then, he could not forgive himself without first having to face some form of consequences for his actions "Jasper," I said, lifting his chin and attempting to force him to look me in the eye, his eyes however remained stubbornly downcast "I think you should go see Carlisle" "Why?" he repied his eyes still downcast. I sighed in exasperation "Jasper look at me" I commanded, he hesitantly looked up and in his eyes I could see all the emotions he was now, unwillingly, allowing me to feel " Jasper, you will never be able to forgive yourself and move on unless you have some sort of consequence for your actions. You need to see Carlisle." he struggled with that for a moment and I could see a small glimmer of fear in his eyes. Although we had been with the Cullen's for over a centaury, unlike the rest of us, he had never been disciplined for more than a minor infraction "But.. but he'll s.. me." he said, his panic breaking through, in truth it was ironic, given what he had been put through in the past, that something as mild as a spanking scared him "Yes love he may well do so." I replied giving him a light kiss "but you'll feel better afterwards." "Shouldn't Esme be the one to punish me?" he asked confused "No, for serious incidents Carlisle always punishes the boys, even if the wrong was against Esme. He is her husband." in truth I was sure Esme would have been the one to punish Jasper had he asked but I knew my love. He had grown up in a time where a husband was expected to right wrongs committed against his wife as opposed to her doing so herself. I knew that even if Esme punished Jasper he would still feel at odds with Carlisle. Also I did not want to have to put Esme in the position of disciplinarian, it would put her in more pain because she would feel she was punishing him unnecessarily and Jasper would feel this and he in turn would feel worse for putting his mother through it. I was pretty certain however that Carlisle would see how much Jasper needed this and even if he did not agree I knew he would be able to control his emotions enough that it would not affect Jasper during his spanking. Then I had a vision and knew what I had said had convinced him.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jasper walked hesitantly into Carlisle's study. Carlisle was seated at his desk and looked up in surprise. "Jasper, what can I help you with?" "Carlisle, first I would like to apologise to you for the way I treated Esme on Sunday." "It's already forgiven" Carlisle replied immediately "I know but I cannot forgive myself." Carlisle opened his mouth to say something but Jasper held up his hand to stop him. "Please, I must say this." he begged. "Alice feels that I will not be able to forgive myself until I face some consequences for my actions." "Do you also feel this to be so?" "I think I do." "And what consequences do you feel would be appropriate?" "I am not sure, that is for you to decide. I will abide by your decision." Carlisle looked thoughtful for a moment "I must say I am not sure what would be appropriate. Had it been any of your brothers who behaved that way I would have spanked them without hesitation but you are not them and your circumstances are different. I have never spanked you before and will only do so now if you feel it to be an acceptable punishment. If you can think of an alternative I will be happy to consider it." Jasper hesitated "If it is how the others would have been punished…" Carlisle nodded affirmative "…then I must conclude that it would be appropriate for me to be punished likewise." "Very well." Carlisle stood and began to move around his desk. "Jasper," he began, his voice taking on an edge of authority, Jasper stood a bit straighter " I want you to pull that chair to the centre of the room." he instructed, indicating a large, high backed studded leather chair, the type appropriate for a reading corner in a mahogany panelled library. Jasper did so. "Now want you to loosen your belt and undo you pants buttons and zip before lying over the back of the chair. Jasper did as directed. "Now Jasper I must remind you of your strength and ask that you be careful not to grab any part of the chair so tightly as to leave any permanent damage." Jasper nodded to show he'd heard. "Now, I am going to lower your pants and begin spanking you. There is no set number of spanks and I will continue until I feel you have been sufficiently punished. You may only get up once I give you permission." Jasper nodded again. Without further ado Carlisle quickly lowered Jaspers pants and underpants to reveal pale white cheeks. He began spanking, alternating cheeks at a gradually increasing tempo. Jasper lay still taking his punishment in silence.

My vision shifted

Carlisle gave Jasper permission to rise and pulled him in for a hug "You can leave when you're ready" he said whilst still hugging him "Our room is empty if you'd like some alone time." Jasper nodded and they stood there hugging for a few more moments before Jasper began to pull away. "I'd better go and see my wife, I know she was listening" Carlisle nodded and Jasper made his way to the door "Jasper," Carlisle called. Jasper turned around with a puzzled expression "was she right? Do you think you can forgive yourself?" Jaspers expression relaxed into a half smile "have you ever known Alice to be wrong" he asked before turning to leave.

As I came back to the present, I heard the downstairs door opening and knew it would be Edward and Nessie leaving, Edward because it was always to uncomfortable for him to hear what one of us was thinking whilst being spanked and Nessie because Bella insisted she leave whenever one of us is punished, since, being her aunt and uncles, it would not be appropriate for her to hear. I kissed Jaspers forehead before murmuring. "Go on. You'll feel better afterwards." Jasper nodded and began to pull away. " I'll be here when you're ready." I called as Jasper left he room and made his way to our fathers study.

*-*-*-*-*

I sat down on my bed to wait. I could hear the click of the door as Jasper went in. I hated knowing that my love would be in pain but I knew that it was a much needed pain. I couldn't hear what was said, they kept their voices too low for which I was grateful, not because I didn't want to hear – I already knew what was being said but because I knew the rest of the family were in the living room and that as it was, they would already hear the spanking, they didn't need to know the conversation as well. All too soon the rhythmic thump of flesh against flesh could be heard. Each and every slap made me jump and had I been able to cry I think I would have been sobbing by now. As it was could feel my body begin to shudder and gasp; our equivalent of tears. I did not know how long it would last – my vision had not shown me that, and so I waited but the rhythm continued. Eventually, what seemed like a lifetime later it stopped. I hastily began to pull myself together – hell, Jasper took that better than I did and he was actually feeling it. I quickly thought of other happier times in an attempt to change my mood so Jasper wouldn't feel it when he came into the room in a few minutes. I settled on the image of Jasper and Carlisle embracing upstairs, the thought filled me with contentment – I knew I had done the right thing, convincing Jasper to go to Carlisle. Sure enough not three minutes later I heard a tentative knock on the door. At the same time I heard Esme and Carlise leave, running into the forest. They always did that after punishing one of us. "Jasper, come in – its your room too." he approached me hesitantly. We embraced and kissed.

It was soon made apparent to me that he wanted other things from me than a kiss. I stopped him, pulling away slightly. He looked at me confused. Then...

*-*-*-*-*

Jasper was lying on the bed and I was holding his legs up over his head and spanking him!!

*-*-*-*-*

I knew it would be soon because we had the same clothes on as we did now, but I did not know why – I rarely ever spanked Jasper and never like that. More confusing was I did not currently have any intentions of doing so.

"Alice?" he asked and I knew he was asking about my vision and not my hesitance. "Its nothing." he nodded knowing I would not reveal more, and resumed kissing me. I pulled away "Jasper, stop." I said firmly. "Jasper, I will not sleep with you right after you've been spanked." his face became puzzled "Why not?" I knew he knew the answer but I replied anyway "because Carlisle does not allow anyone to sleep with their mates for at least 12hrs after their punishment. He says it causes them to forget about the punishment and only remember the after pleasure, and" I added as an afterthought "because we have to go downstairs." this time he was genuinely confused.

"If you go downstairs now the others will be more sympathetic and let it pass with only a few comments." I explained. "If you wait for tomorrow they will never stop teasing you." he blanched "They heard?" "Well you hear when they get it, don't you?" "Yes but ... I hadn't realised…" "I know" "How can I go down there and face them? The embarrassment alone! And I can think of all the things Emmet will say." "I know but he'll say worse if you wait." I could see he was working himself into frenzy; he even began pacing, moving so fast from point to point he was only a blur even to my quick sight. "Jasper, they have all been spanked before, they'll understand." "No, no." he began mumbling to himself and was becoming incoherent. I had had enough; he was behaving like a child. I tried one more time -"Jasper," - before raising my voice, something I very rarely resorted to when it came to my love.

"Jasper Whitlock Cullen," I began, a small part of me aware that I was now speaking loud enough for the others to hear me from downstairs "that is enough!" my tone caused him to pause from his pacing and mutterings. "I don't know what is making you think you can behave like this but I will NOT put up with it. Now you will pull yourself together and come downstairs" I said at the same volume, I was quickly becoming furious "No" he replied and had I not been so angry I probably would have found it funny how much he sounded like a child being told to put a sweet back on the rack at a supermarket, indeed I probably sounded a lot like said child's mother, but at that moment I could not care less.

"Excuse me?" I said advancing on him, he visibly flinched but still held his ground. "No, I am not coming downstairs to be teased and made fun of and you can go to hell if you think I'll listen to you." The words seemed to come out of his mouth of their own accord and I felt like he had slapped me, never in 200 years of marriage had he spoken to me like that, in the shock my anger dissipated. " Jasper," I began in a quiet voice " please tell me there was some reason for that comment" he just stood there dumbfounded, we stayed there a whole five minutes, he hadn't moved from where he had stopped pacing. Slowly my anger started to creep back, blotting out the pain, as it peeked I spoke "Jasper, you will take off your pants and go lean over the side of the bed. NOW." I nearly shouted when he didn't move. Then he truly started to panic

"Alice, love. I didn't mean it." this was not helping "I know but you still said it, and if you know what good for you you'll go over that bed before I get, if at all possible, more angry than I am already."

"But hon' I've already been spanked once today." That was the last straw. I closed the distance between us in less than a millisecond, grabbed a hold of he left ear in one had whilst delivering 5 swats to the seat of his pants with all the strength I could muster. Jasper nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Ok, ok." he shouted. I began to literally tear off his pants, when he saw what I was doing he attempted to help, mumbling apologies all the while, so I resumed lecturing, punctuating every few words with a slap. "If you think. That. Being. Spanked. by. Carlisle . . means that you. Can. get. a. way. with that. type. of. .iour. then you. have. another. thing coming.."

By this time I had positioned him over the side of the bed. I began spanking in earnest. After a few minutes his apologising stopped and he just accepted the punishment.

I stopped and stood him up to look in his eyes. I could see remorse but also something else, as though he was willing me to continue, it was then that I realised the reason behind Jaspers behaviour. Carlisle had given Jasper one of the hardest and longest spankings I had ever heard him deliver and near the end I had realised that he was trying to get Japer to the point of breakdown to allow him the release of emotions that came with it but Jasper had never reached that point and now felt frustrated and let down that he had ot experienced the release that I had promised.

Okay I didn't actually promise but he felt I had – when I was last spanked I had told him about it and he was therefore expecting it would be the same for him. Carlisle must have stopped out of fear that he was going too far but I knew better. Jasper had been through so much with Maria that what Carlisle did seemed tame. His behaviour towards me was a way of both expressing his disappointment and also asking me to do what Carlisle hadn't. I was not sure if I could though. I was already regretting going so far with Jasper but I knew it was not far enough so I hardened my heart

"Jasper," I said tentatively "Jasper, you know I love you?" I asked quietly and was relieved when he nodded "Jasper, now I have already forgiven you for what you said and I am no longer angry." he looked into my eyes and in them was not only relief but an almost regretful longing, this confirmed my suspicion, so I continued "but I'm going to continue to spank you anyway because you need the release that can only be achieved through a spanking that end in tears"

He didn't argue. I was about to ask him to get back into position when I realized that I couldn't bear to put him a position that his face was hidden from me so instead I asked him; "Jasper, I want you to lay on your back, on the bed, and lift your legs over your head." I could see confusion and then embarrassment in his face but he complied immediately. I placed my left hand over his thighs to keep them in position and gave them a reassuring squeeze, stealing myself, I resumed spanking.

I could hear a gasp from downstairs as they realised I intended to continue spanking him. Of course there would be no lasting damage physically – you couldn't even see the effects now because our lack of blood prevented any part of us from reddening and the area would only be tender for a few days, a week at the most but whist I was spanking I knew Jasper was in absolute agony. A part of me was proud that he was handling this so well but another part of me shouted at him to stop being so stupid and just give in. I

wondered if I should have asked Carlisle to do this – I was sure he was holding out longer because he didn't want me to see him breakdown, but I knew Carlisle would not be able to do this for him. Even I could only just force my arm to keep moving knowing that it had to be done for Jasper to heal. So I kept going.

I would never get physically tired – a curse of being a vampire; I would have welcomed the excuse to stop but I had started this and would see it through to the end.

By the time I finally did get through to him I was emotionally ravaged and raw. He did not shout, or even moan, his body just started shuddering in silent tearless tears. I stopped immediately and removed my hand from his thigh.

I had not realised that my hand was all that was keeping him in position and so the second I removed it his legs swung down bringing his tortured cheeks in contact with the bedspread. Then he did make a sound, leaping up and cursing loudly. Still shuddering, he frantically began rubbing his bum and I went to him.

His emotions flew about the room and it took me a moment to block them out; I had enough of my own to deal with. I too was in tears as I pulled him into my arms and held him. Slowly we calmed each other until we were almost completely still. My remorse must have penetrated his emotional whirlwind for Jasper began comforting me – the irony! "Don't hate yourself for what you did love, I've needed that for a very long time and I am extraordinarily grateful that you were strong enough to go through that for me." Then I asked the question I desperately needed the answer to "Do you forgive me?" "There is nothing to forgive. Love of my Life, Love of my heart, My heart is eternally yours" he said repeating the vows we had made to each other at every one of our weddings. I smiled and knew that we were ok.

*********

**So let me know what you think - I have a few more chapters in mind!! Possibly even a few in Carlisle and Rosalies POV. I know the start, with Alice telling Jasper to go to Carlisle is similar to another story I read (I cant remeber who wrote it but if anyone does and lets me know, I would be happy to give the author credit for the idea) It was my starting point but I promise the rest is my own work. **

**XOXO**

**Stargirl**


	2. Facing the Music

**Disclaimer - Everything belons to Stephanie Meyer, they are her characters, I just play with them**

Chapter 2

APOV

Too soon he pulled away. I tried to stop him, he chuckled "Alice, Love, you can certainly deliver on hell of a spanking." he said ruefully and I smiled "but if I don't put something on my ass soon I swear I will scream." I laughed and led him to the bathroom.

I put the plug in the large "his" basin before opening the cold tap. When it was half full a helped him position himself on the counter so that his abused cheeked could soak in the cold water. "I'll go get you some ice." I said knowing from experience how much the cold could help. He caught my hand as realisation hit him and for the second time he said "Th... They heard, didn't they?" that drew me up short, I had forgotten the rest of the family downstairs, of course they'd heard, not only the spanking but most of what was said before that.

I quickly ran over everything that had happened from when Jasper entered our room. They had definitely heard what Jasper had said to me and my response. They would have heard my lecturing him and of course the spanks. I was fairly certain that they did not hear our mid-spanking conversation, nor the after spanking one. Shit! They will think the whole thing was for the way he spoke to me!! and because they would not have known exactly when he broke down they probably were thinking that I kept going after he began to cry (no one that I knew of had ever held out that long – most of us would have cried from the spanking Carlisle gave him let alone the one I delivered afterwards).

I realised how cruel the whole thing must have seemed to them! And of course I would never tell them the truth – that was between me and Jasper. Oh god! They were going to give me hell!! Jasper seemed to have followed my train of thought for he pulled me in for a reassuring hug "It'll be ok. Look don't worry about the ice, give me a moment to dress and we'll go down together." He made to move off the counter but I stopped him. I desperately wanted him there to support me but I knew that he had only just come off an emotional rollercoaster and needed time to collect his thought – I didn't want him to have to deal with them just yet. Also I felt certain that they would want to say things to me that they wouldn't be able to with Jasper in the room, and, although I'd never admit this to Jasper I felt I deserved them. "No, I should see them first, alone." he looked like he was about to protest but I spoke before he could "Its something I have to do Jasper, I cant explain it but I just do and I want you to promise me that you wont interfere" Just then I saw …

Jasper came running down the stairs into the lounge where I was with the rest of the family, I could see I was upset and they were furious.

So it was clear having him sit here whist they shouted at me was not an option. "Jasper, I want you to do something for me" I began. "Anything" "Go into the woods, run, hunt or do anything you want but do not come back until I come to find you." I said this slightly louder so the others could also hear. Quieter, I added "there is a slightly iced over steam about 5 miles north of here if you need some relief" he looked at me for a full five minutes; neither of us blinked or looked away.

I came very close to taking it all back and begging him to stay with me, but I didn't. He must have finally found whatever it was he was looking for in my eyes for he nodded and said "I will do as you ask but if you have not found me by sunrise I will return. You are truly the bravest person I know."

"They're our family. Its not like I'm going to face the Volturi or something" I said trying to comfort both him and myself. "Honestly love, I'd pick the Volturi over Rosalie any day" he said with a chuckle. I smiled before helping him out of the basin and passing him a fresh pair of pants and although he tried to hide it I saw him wince as he pulled them over his behind.

He came back over to where I was standing and pulled me to him; he held my body tightly against his as though trying to physically transfer strength to me. We kissed deeply; passionately. When we pulled apart I knew it was too soon for either of us. "Time to face the music." I muttered; he smiled "Just remember, I will be forever grateful for what you did and nothing anyone else says can change that. Love of my life, Love of my heart, my heart is yours forever." he murmured into my ear "Now go" I whispered.

He turned to leave and in the instant before he jumped out the window he called downstairs "And if any one of you hurt her I swear I'll make you regret if for the rest of your existence." he looked back to give me one last encouraging smile before disappearing out the window.

"Time to face the music." I repeated, and taking a long unnecessary breath I left my room.

*****

I walked along the landing already missing Jasper. I knew that I had done the right thing but I knew that without the whole story the others would not agree and as far as I was concerned my siblings would never hear it.

I came downstairs to see Bella on the porch talking to Jacob. God, he hadn't been here the whole time had he? I paused, hiding just out of sight in an attempt to hear what they were saying.

I breathed a sigh of relief. He had only just arrived to fetch Nessie – their house was less than a mile away but Jacob wanted to go hunting with her before they went home. Bella told him that she was with Edward and approximately where to find them. She also asked that he send Edward back when he saw him.

As Jacob ran towards the forest Bella turned to come back inside. "Alice," she said, and although I could not see her I was certain she knew I was here, "Alice, you might as well come down. I know you know we want to talk so just stop delaying the inevitable and come down here." Well that was it – I was done for, if Bella's tone was anything to go by.

I made my way into the room at what would have been considered slow even for a human. I was met by three accusing pairs of eyes. I could hear Edward was almost at the door and thought quickly "Edward, anything I think but do not say is private – do not tell my secrets to defend me" I knew Edward and if I accidentally thought through my reasons he would tell the others to defend me which was the opposite to what I needed.

He entered the room, his lips set in a firm line. As he moved to stand next to Bella on the far side of the room his expression changed from confusion to anger to fury – clearly someone was replaying what they had just heard in their head for him. "Alice," Bella began "that was unjustified."

"Never mind unjustified," interrupted Rosalie from the couch where she was seated with Emmet "that was plain cruel." I just stood there, a part of me felt I deserved whatever I got for doing that to my love, but another part of me rebelled. How dare they involve themselves in my private business, it had absolutely nothing to do with them, I mean I didn't involve myself when they did things I didn't agree with.

"Alice," Edward said clearly listening to my little internal rant. "I know we all agreed never to interfere with any couples private business but when someone does something so… so… excessive. We have to step in."

"You do not know what was going on." I retorted "We know how Jasper spoke to you, we know he told you to go to hell _and_ we know you spanked him for a good hour because of it." replied Rosalie

"When you resumed spanking him I could not believe it." added Bella.

"I seriously considered coming in to stop you but I didn't know what I'd see and there are some images of Jasper I just don't need," inserted Emmet "plus I didn't think Jasper needed further embarrassment."

I looked around helplessly – I knew this was going to be bad but it was worse than I'd imagined, it was a good thing I'd sent Jasper away.

"I have a good mind to spank you right here just to show you what Jasper went through. But I won't because I know what Jasper would do to me if I did"

That was too much "Emmet, do you really think I don't know what Jasper went through? I was there. I felt every blow I dealt him; it caused me as much if not more pain than him. Do you really think Jasper would not have stopped me had he not felt he deserved it? He's already forgiven me."

Okay weak point I know – Jasper would have let me go on for a fortnight had I wanted to and still forgiven me. The others seemed to agree

"Alice, that is the most pathetic excuse I've ever heard and I know you know that"

"Edward, you cannot use my thoughts against me, if you think something then say it but don't you dare use my thoughts to support it."

"Fine then I will say it since I cannot be accused of taking your thoughts" said Bella, clearly annoyed by my jab at her husband "Jasper would let you draw and quarter him for forgetting to say good morning to you if you said he deserved it AND still forgive you afterwards. That's why we have to say something, because Jasper never would." She was almost pleading with me to understand. I nodded, I knew what she said was true but they can't honestly think this was about Jasper telling me to go to hell, could they? I had assumed they'd know better.

"Then tell us what it was really about." I let out a hiss "Edward, I have asked you three times now, I know you cannot help what you hear but you can help what you do about it, so again – KEEP WHAT YOU HEAR IN MY HEAD QUIET!" I practically screamed.

My reaction seemed to shock even Rosalie but I knew that if I didn't put my foot down now he would eventually reveal my true reason for spanking Jasper. I cant explain why in a family with few secrets I wanted this specific detail to remain secret but I think it had to do with the fact that Jasper and my relationship was so private that I couldn't stand the though of such intimate things becoming common knowledge.

"We just want to understand." murmured Bella.

I looked at my best friend and relaxed slightly "I know you do." I said looking at each of them in turn "but all I can tell you is I did have a reason for what I did and it was necessary." "Rubbish" said Rosalie "you went too far and now you're trying to cover it up."

"No I am not"

"Then tell us your reason." challenged Rosalie.

"No – That is private"

Rosalie threw up her hands in exasperation before rising, Emmet made to follow. She paused by the door and looked back at me "Well say what you want but Jasper is a fool for letting you get away with it and if you ever behave like that again I _will_ send Emmet in to stop you – Jaspers pride be damned."

I nodded as she stalked out the door. A moment later I heard her and Emmet make off into the forest.

I went to sink into their recently vacated seat and Bella and Edward sat in the opposite couch. I could feel my control slipping. Rosalie had been the easiest to deal with because her reaction was the most predictable. I loved her but I know she disapproves of a great many things I've done so one more did not really matter – okay that's a lie, of course my sister's disapproval hurt but it was manageable.

Bella and Edward were another matter entirely. I needed them to understand.

We sat in silence for over ten minutes. I was sure Edward was waiting for me to think of my reasons but that was not on the cards. I sat there singing "I'm thinking of a brick wall" over and over in my head. Eventually Edward let out an annoyed moan "Alice," he almost pleaded "I get that you don't want me to know but could you at least sing something better than "I'm thinking of a brick wall."

Bella snorted "I'm sorry," she apologised as Edward glared at her. "I know this is serious" she said clearly still trying to smother giggles.

Bella's mirth broke the tension and we all laughed. After a few moments when we had calmed down Bella spoke "Ok Alice. I believe you when you say you had your reasons so we'll let it go this time, but I'm with Rosalie in saying this doesn't happen again."

I knew I couldn't promise that – eternity was a long time and things could happen, so I remained silent. Bella, it appeared, correctly interpreted my response and stilled, her face growing hard. Edward, hearing my thought also stiffened "Alice, you know I love you, we all do, but you should also know that we will not allow you to treat Jasper like that again." he warned and Bella nodded in agreement. With nothing more to say he pulled Bella up and they departed. The moment they left my carefully composed façade crumbled and I let the shudders take me, giving myself over to my emotions.

********

**So, what did you think? Please R&R.**


	3. Comfort

**Same disclaimer as for Jaspers Punishment. **

APOV

Carlisle and Esme returned a while later and came in to find me shuddering on the couch. They sat on either side of me and I shifted to cry into Esme's shoulder. She began to stroke my back and murmured soothingly to me.

Slowly the pain lessened and the gasping stopped. They finally managed to coax me into sitting and Carlisle asked, as I knew he would "So what brought this on?"

It was then that I remembered they had left right after Carlisle had finished spanking Jasper and didn't know about what had happened afterwards. But how could I explain without telling them everything, and suddenly that didn't seem like such a bad thing, they were our parents after all and I was sure Jasper would understand. So I slowly began to recount the whole ordeal.

They did not interrupt me although I could see Esme wanted to in places but Carlisle always stopped her, for which I was grateful. I nearly broke down for a second time after I had finished my story.

"Oh Alice," said Esme afterwards, she to looked as though she was about to cry as she pulled me in for a hug.

"Alice," Carlisle began, prying me away from my mother so I could look at him. He placed his hands on my shoulders "I cannot tell you how proud I am of you, you saw what Jasper needed when I did not and you were strong enough to give it to him, something I'm not sure I would have been able to do. You should never regret doing the right thing."

I stopped him - he was misinterpreting the cause of my emotions "I know what I did was right, it's just… the others, they were so harsh, they wont forgive me."

"Alice," said Esme "they don't know what happened or why it happened, they are just confused."

"But surely they've known me long enough to know I would never have done what I did without a good reason? I expected them, at the very least, to trust my judgement on this."

"They are just perplexed, they don't realise that Jasper only broke down at the end. They believe that you continued spanking him after the fact, and if that were the case then I'd have agree with them - nothing can justify continuing a spanking after that point is reached," Carlisle responded. I nodded to show my agreement, "but that is not the case, and you are right, they should have had more faith in your judgement. A part of them is also just hurt because of your refusal to go into details"

He couldn't possibly think I should have told them? I opened my mouth to protest but Carlisle stopped me "as is your right, what happened between you and Jasper had absolutely nothing to do with them and they should have realized that. Remember also that none of them could have lasted that long and so they have not even considered that Jasper did."

"They look at me differently Carlisle, I saw it." I was very near crying "I know." he said sympathetically "Just give them time and know that no matter what they say Jasper will be forever grateful for what you did." I nodded and even managed a tentative smile. Just then I heard people in the distance, running towards the house: my brothers and sisters.

Carlisle and Esme must have heard them too, he turned to me quickly. "Go find Jasper, I'm sure he's worried"

"You won't tell them any of this will you?" I questioned suddenly worried "No. That is for you and Jasper to reveal if and when you're ready." I smiled relieved, hugged both of my parents before taking off out the back door.

***

**I know this is a short chapter but I thought Carlisle and Esme needed to find out about the situation from Alice, and she needed someone other to Jasper to comfort her. **

**Please R&R**

**XOXO**

**Stargirl**


	4. Carlisles Musings

**Disclaimer - same as Chapter 1**

**I finally decided to try Carlisle POV - let me know how you think it came out!**

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CPOV

I watched my daughter go in amazement. I knew I would never have been able to do what she had just done, no matter how necessary it may have been. When Jasper came into my study this morning I had intended to take him to the point of tears but once I past the five minute mark (which none of my children had ever managed to reach) I had stopped fearing that I had gone too far and just missed the tears, well gasps since we cant really cry. Once I had let him get up I realised this was not the case but I could not make myself tell him to bend back over, partly because it would effectively mean giving him a second spanking for no discernable reason and partly because I was scared I would go too far and cause him to fear me, something I couldn't tolerate. Now though I realized I had not gone near far enough, Jaspers upbringing had taught him to endure pain silently and what I had done to him could not even remotely compare to the punishment Maria had dealt out. I looked around to my wife and could see she was having similar thoughts.

My other children were almost at the door. Their behaviour truly amazed me. How they could have so little faith in Alice's judgement was astounding, their lack of trust more so.

I reached over to take my wife's hand "How could they?" she asked, I shook my head. Rosalie I could understand – she had a habit of forming conclusions and obstinately clinging to them despite all evidence to the contrary, but it was Edward and Bella who surprised me the most. I squeezed Esme's had firmly before rising and going to the door to greet my children - we needed to talk.

The disappointment on our faces must have been clear for they all paused the moment they saw us. I sighed "Come inside"

*********

**Wow - that came out much shorter than I first envisioned. I guess that Carlisle had less to 'say' than I thought. Next up - Rosalies POV!! **

**(The story now really changes to a Esme, Rosalie story in the next few chapters but I couldn't bare to break it up into two stories and Alice and Jasper will be back in the last Chapter) **

**Let me know what you think!**

**Stargirl**


	5. Rosalies Scared of a Spanking

**Same disclaimer as before. **

RPOV

"Come inside."

Oh great, the disappointment team, I thought to myself although deep down I did feel a twinge of regret for my earlier behaviour. There was no doubt in my mind that this was about Alice but what I didn't get was why their disappointment was directed at us – surely Alice deserved those looks, not us.

We filed into the lounge. Emmet and I took the love seat while Bella and Edward took the opposite couch. Esme and Carlisle remained standing.

"I know you feel you were justified," he began, this was not good; I could already feel a but coming and it hadn't even been 5 seconds. Sure enough - "but I should not need to remind you that we d not involve ourselves in the other couples affairs."

"She went too far Carlisle, and Jasper would never have said anything." interrupted Edward

"Edward, do you know what happened in that room? Where you there?" Edward hesitated

"No"

"Then how do you know she went too far?"

I rolled my eyes "We all heard Carlisle, we all agree that spanking past breaking point is cruel." I interrupted

"Did you hear Jasper break down?" he returned _– please._ I rolled my eyes again, he could not expect us to beleive that. "She spanked him for almost an hour Carlisle!" I practically shouted.

He paused, this it seemed shocked him, I was sure he would not persist any further in this insane tirade and felt a smug smile began to spread across my face but then he repeated "Did you hear him break down?"

I stilled "No, but he must have; none of us have ever gone even five minutes before breaking."

"Are you saying he didn't" gasped Bella.

Carlisle if anything seemed to become more disappointed "I'm not saying anything in regards to that except do you really believe your sister would have continued spanking him for so long, whilst he was crying?" that brought us all up short, but then Emmet replied "I never would have before today but there's no other conclusion."

Carlisle just looked at him. "Even if he did last that long," piped in Bella "It was still far too harsh a punishment given the infraction." I nodded in agreement.

"Bella, it is not for us to decide what punishment is appropriate for what transgression in someone else's marriage, what one couple considers taboo another might find normal, also may I ask you what Alice said to you after Rosalie and Emmet left?"

I looked at Bella confused, the answer seemed to catch in her throat, "She said she had other reasons for what she did." Bella's whisper was barely audible even to vampire ears.

"And do you not trust Alice enough to know that those reasons must have been more than enough to justify it." she seemed to consider this before nodding "I do" Edward echoed her.

I could not believe they were falling for this "It's an EXCUSE" I exploded "If it wasn't then why didn't she tell us the reason."

"And I'm sure you tell everyone the intimate details of your and Emmett's relationship?" returned Carlisle.

I stilled "A part of you is just hurt that Alice is keeping a secret, but think of all the private things that are just between you and your mate." he said to the room at large.

I considered that and thought of the time Emmett had covered my room in rose petals to atone for something or other; I couldn't move without sending up small cascades of petals – no one else knew of that.

I leant into Emmet before nodding "Well this is the same thing the only difference is that no one is pestering you to share them."

If I was honest with myself he did have a point. It must have been apparent to him that we agreed for his mood visibly lightened "Good." he announced "well now that's that settled, we can get back to our lives"

Bella was the first to move, she went over to hug Carlisle and Esme whom embraced her before sending her out the door with a firm swat to the behind. This was repeated with Edward and I saw them grasp hands in the passage and make their way up the stairs undoubtedly to their room.

I felt Emmet shift behind me. He squeezed my shoulder before going to our parents for his hug and swat.

I remained seated. I knew it was childish but I could not go to them knowing they would smack me. I knew it would only be one smack and I would last less than a second but I still couldn't put myself in a situation that would get me smacked – stupid pride.

Esme seemed to feel the same way if her exasperated sigh was anything to go by.

I knew I wouldn't get out of it though– almost 200 years in this family had taught me that. "Rosalie, I really don't see what you get so worked up about – its not like its eternally painful and we don't even deliver it on the bare." she said.

How could I explain? The others didn't mind - it was only a light reprimand, like a parent saying wait till I'm finished talking after the child interrupts a conversation. It was just soooo embarrassing even if no one saw it.

Esme sighed again "Stand up Rosalie." she said in a tired voice "Aw, Esme" I pleaded "Rosalie you're just making a mountain out of a molehill.' she said, slightly exasperated. I knew she was right but I still couldn't force myself to move.

"Rosalie." I could hear the warning this time but still I couldn't move.

Finally having had enough she walked over to be with quick deliberate steps, grabbed my arm and physically yanked me off the chair whilst at the same time delivering three painful slaps to my behind. She released my arm and attempted to hug me. I shook her off and I made to leave.

"Rosalie, your treading on extreamly thin ice; come back here." called Carlisle.

I hesitated, a part of me desperately wanted to leave but another part knew it would be wiser to stay. Unfortunately the former part won out and after a brief pause I walked out the sitting room door.

I knew it was a mistake the moment I did it and Carlisle's words a moment later only confirmed it "Rosalie Hale Cullen, you will come back into this room in the next three seconds or I will come out to get you." I saw Emmet at the top of the stairs but even he knew better than to interfere.

That stupid part of me that had made me walk out of the room was now stopping me from going back in. I knew Carlisle would make good on his threat – we had been through this before and so I waited out the exceedingly long three seconds. I could hear Clarlisle approach the door at the same time I saw Emmet disappear up the stairs, the coward.

Carlisle came out of the door and made a beeline to me at the other end of the passage. Without a word he delivered a further three slaps to my rear before pointing to the sitting room door.

This time, with him behind me I went into the room – I was in enough trouble and knew from past experience that fighting Carlisle at this point was not only pointless but also a lot more painful a route.

I entered the room to find Esme sitting on the loveseat. I heard Carlisle close the door behind us

"Rosalie," my mother began "I don't know what you're trying to achieve by this stunt but I can assure you that nothing good will come from it. Now come here."

This time, with my father standing threateningly behind me the smarter half of me won out and I waked over to stand in front of her.

She immediately began to undo the buttons on my pants, this was something Esme always did, remove our clothing for us and I hated it almost more than the spanking itself – it made me feel five years old again; to young to dress myself, which I think is why she did it – to reinforce the childish aspect of the punishment.

My hands reflexively moved to stop her but she deftly swatted them out the way. Once the buttons and zip were undone she rose and gripping my upper arm guided me to a corner.

She always positioned us thus to afford us the greatest privacy possible given that she preferred giving spankings standing up. Positioned behind me she lowered first my jeans, followed by my lace panties. She then proceeded to spank me and after 10 whacks I was squirming.

Mercifully she only delivered two dozen smacks total, the last few extra hard because, she claimed, my father had had to come out and find me.

With my ass smarting she hugged me from behind before saying "Five minutes corner time." This was also an Esme thing – corner time.

Finally I felt her back behind me again. She delivered a further two stinging slaps before pulling my panties (were they always that scratchy?) and jeans back into place. She turned me around and re-buttoned my pants before pulling me into a tight hug which, this time, I did not shrug off.

********

**So I know I kinda diverged from the A&J story but I couldn't resist. **

**I have always felt those passing swats given in public to be extreamly embarassing and wanted to express that in a story - Roaslie just presented me with the opportunity**

**Also I really wanted to try her POV. **

**For anyone who didn't like it don't worry, next chapter is back in Alices view point.**

**Please R&R**

**Stargirl**


	6. Gathering loose Ends

**Same disclaimer as before. **

**This is unfortunately my last chapter in the story, if you have any ideas of a part 2 please let me know. **

**I try to keep all my stories in the same theme so they can feel like they all could have happened at different points of the cullens lives. **

**If you enjoyed it please read my other stories. I will normally mention somewhere how many years a couple has been together just to give you a general feel of what order they occur. **

**Any thoughts for future stories are most welcome :-)**

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APOV

I sprinted out the back door – I did not want to see my siblings again so soon after our argument. I quickly picked up Jaspers scent. I ran faster and soon came across my love swimming in the pond I had recommended to him earlier.

I smiled to myself as he stood to reveal his gloriously naked body. He shook the water from his mop of hair and looked more carefree than I had seen him in years. I quickly disrobed and made my way into the cold water of the pond which would have given a human hypothermia but which to us was wonderfully refreshing.

I moved towards him , wrapped my arms around his waste and began kissing his shoulder, neck, face … I let my lips rove where they would – I wanted him, and I wanted him now.

My impulses were not lost on Jasper but he gently held my hands still, stopping the patterns I was tracing on his back.

He chuckled at my pout. "What happened to the whole 12 hour waiting rule?" he asked, but his body gave him away, I knew he wanted this as much as I did. "Screw the waiting period." I murmured before kissing him deeply o the lips, halting any further protests.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Too soon he withdrew. I pouted again and attempted to clutch his body to mine. He chucked but continued to separate himself from me 'We'd better get back." he said "I don't know about you but I don't particularly want Carlisle guessing what we were up to up here." I had to agree – Carlisle was always particularly firm on the waiting period rule. I nodded and Jasper turned towards the bank his clothes were on.

I followed and as he bent over to pick up his pants I delivered a firm swat to his ass. He hissed, jumped up and looked at me with puzzlement "What was that for?" he demanded "That," I replied with a mischievous smile "was for trying to stop me from having you in the pond just now." "Well consider the lesson learned." he responded. I swatted him on the other cheek. He glared at me. "Just reinforcement." I explained with a grin and Jasper let over to tousle my hair. We dressed quickly and ran back to the house holding hands.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Rosalie was in the sitting room facing the corner, with her jeans down by here ankles. Esme stood behind her…

*-*-*-*-*-*

I forced myself to stop the vision in its tracks; – Rosalie being spanked was not something I wanted to see.

Stopping a vision was a thing I had been trying for awhile. It was difficult but not impossible. I was sure that with practise it would be easier but in general I shied away from doing this because I felt that all my spontaneous visions came to me for a reason and I did not relish the thought of messing with that reason, but I drew the line when it came to seeing my families intimate affairs.

I opened my eyes – I had stopped running - reflex reaction, and Jasper was standing next to me waiting anxiously. "It's fine." I told him – my spontaneous visions were often of dangers and so he was immediatly on edge.

"Rosalie is in trouble though." he looked at me quizzically; my statement contradicting the last "I just saw Esme spanking her." Understanding flickered across his face "Should we wait here?"

"No," I replied "I don't know when it will happen, only that it was sometime today." he nodded and we took off again.

..........................................................

We entered the house a millisecond before Rosalie emerged from the sitting room- damn I had hoped to miss her. She glared at us and let out a low growl before flying up the stairs and no doubt into Emmett's arms. It was clear she blamed us; or me at least.

"That won't be the last we hear of this." Jasper murmured into my ear

"I know, but lets not worry about that for now." I replied and taking his hand led him up to our room.

**Well, to quote loony toons "Thats all folks" :-)**

**XOXOXOX**

**Stargirl **

**P.S. _Please Please PLEASE_ Review - I know you are reading it but I need the reviews - did you love it? Hate It? Just let me know so I can decide what my next story should be like. **


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